Today should be a pretty fun day. I just picked up some new cut tools that I want to experiment with. I think after tinkering around with those I'm going to call up that girl from my night class. I've been wanting to call her ever since she first gave me her phone number, but I didn't want to seem too overeager. It's been a few days already, so I think it's been a good amount of time to wait. I really like her, so I hope she hasn't changed her mind since then! I'm going to call up some friends and run some ideas past them about where to take her. To be honest, I haven't taken a girl out in quite some time so I hope I'm not too rusty at it. We always seem to get along fairly well in class, but sometimes it's different when it's just the two of you, you know? That's why I haven't called her yet. Somehow it's just easier for me to get to know people when I'm surrounded by a bunch of other people. It's more comfortable for me. Well, I'm going to get started on my project now and try work up some nerve!

My lawyer was telling me about the Austin bankruptcy laws.  He was outlining my choices.  I wasn't listening.  I was just listening to the voice in my head screaming that I shouldn't do it, shouldn't file.  I know that sometimes people have no choice.  I was at that point.  My rational brain knew that, but the fighter in me didn't.   When my lawyer finished, I just nodded and said that I had to go home and think about a few things.  I didn't go home.  I stopped at the house and packed a few things and headed north.  I was going home home.  I was going home to go fishing.  I needed some time to think.  I dug out my old fishing pole and tossed it in the trunk.  Then I started to drive.  It was a full day before I got home.  I left the interstate, went up the two lane and then into town.  I was shocked.  I hadn't been home in ten years or better.  Whole blocks were gone.  But a lot of familiar things were there.  I saw some people I knew.  I pulled over and started talking.   At once I felt I knew what I should do.  I was too long gone from what I knew best.  I had to decide what to do, and then I had to get back to what I knew.

Back in college, my typical day went like this.  I’d wake up early, but not too early.  Maybe around 9:30.  Then I’d take the train to school and attend 2 or maybe 3 classes.  It depended on what day it was.  Sometimes, on the way home from school, I’d stop by a temporary staffing agency to see if they had any work for me.  If they did, I fit it in between classes and everything else.  If not, I went home and played video games for a while.  I’d make a few calls to my friends, saw how they were doing or if they were doing anything later.  We’d make plans and then I’d start on my homework.  Whenever I got done, I’d eat dinner and watch TV for a while.  I know it wasn’t the most exciting life, but I enjoyed it for the most part.  I had more free time on my hands than I did in high school and much more than I would once I graduated and went out into the real world.  I still lived with my parents, which wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, but I didn’t have to pay for rent or groceries or anything like that.  I saved up a lot of money.  Video games didn’t grow on trees after all.

Today I was looking around at these piles of photographs I have and it seems pretty obvious that I need to think of some type of data storage solution. As it stands right now I have everything piled into shoeboxes. Some of the images are already starting to fade. I don't want what happened to my mom's photographs to happen to mine. She has all these pictures of us as kids and they're all separated from the envelopes with the negatives. There is no way she's going to sit there going through every single frame of negatives if I want a duplicate of something. There are better ways. I think what I'm going to do either later tonight or tomorrow is scan everything and upload it to my computer. I've been wanting to put everything together on a web site and that way it will be easier to keep things organized.  Everyone is always asking why I don't just put everything into albums but I've been wanting to do something different. I always was the different one in the family! I think after I take care of my own photographs I'm going to surprise my mom and do the same thing for her.

I went mini-golfing with a friend of mine I knew from college the other day. She got married a month ago and I have not seen her since she left for her honeymoon. I am so proud of her for finally getting married; she and her new husband have been dating forever. We had a running joke about her marrying her husband for the longest and I remember telling her that if I got married before she did we could not be friends. I consider her one of my best friends and we have been for a long time so I feel almost as proud as her parents. So it did not matter that I am horrible at mini-golf, and if you do not think that is possible, watch me play. She told me she was going to buy one of those golf aid books for me for my birthday because I take forever at every hole. But I figure, it gives us more time to talk anyway, and she does not mind either, just makes fun of me. This last time we went at night so that was even worse. The fact that I am horrible at it in the first place, coupled with not concentrating on the game as much as our conversation and the night made for an especially long game. I lost quite a few balls. Sure there were lights on the course but again, this is me so it did not make too much of a difference. I did feel proud however when I got the ball in the hole on the first try of the eighteenth hole. I got treated to coffee afterward for my amazing accomplishment. I am happy to see that marriage has not changed her sense of humor. 

I was never really a big fan of waxing or plucking and I’m sure as heck not going to sit through electrolysis treatments, so I was super excited to find out that one of the salons in my neighborhood is going to start offering threading.  I had heard that threading was becoming very popular in the city, that it was quickly becoming the Chicago hair remover of choice, so I’m glad to see that it’s branching out into the suburbs so I can see what all the fuss is about.  From what I understand it’s a techniques that takes months to perfect, where a cosmetologist uses a twisted cotton thread to remove unwanted hair.  It’s supposed to be relatively painless and a lot better for your skin than waxing.  I really hope that threading is effective because it would be nice to have a procedure to remove hair that doesn’t require boiling hot wax or harsh chemicals to be applied to the skin.  I don’t know exactly what my local salon is going to charge, but I’ve heard that in most places the treatments are cheaper than waxing as well, so I’ll probably be saving money by switching, which is also a good thing.

I didn't want to acknowledge that I had a problem but what really got me to open my eyes was realizing that I am headed for bankruptcy. The financial mess all started when I pulled myself out of the workforce. I was working on a really stressful job for a company that handled million dollar accounts when I decided the anxiety was just too overwhelming. I started to use my credit card to make ends meet until I felt strong enough to go back to work. I started with one card and before I knew it I had opened accounts for about 6 others. If there was a credit card offer in the mail I would take it. I didn't even read the backs of the statements. It didn't take much for me to sign on the dotted line. Then I saw my balance climb from $4,000 to $25,000. I wound up being out of the workforce for longer than I thought I would, so it didn't take long for this to occur. It took a long time to find employment once again. Fortunately, in addition to landing a new job, I started seeing a counselor who is working with me to get me back on the right track both personally and financially.